On the 27th of December, 1947, Saturday's Evening Post displayed Norman Rockwell's famous artwork "Tired Salesgirl on Christmas Eve". This classic piece of art shows a shoe-less worn out sales assistant sitting amongst Christmas paraphernalia. Although this piece of art may make most of us feel sad about the girl's predicament, many people feel that exact same way even though they haven't been a part of the Christmas shopping rush or party circuit.
These done-in citizens are the family members who go to the needs of aging parents or an ill spouse, relative or family friend every day, all yearlong. By the month of December, many home caregivers feel so weary and overwhelmed with daily duties that the thought of idyllic families enjoying the holidays only adds sadness, depression and resentment. Instead of the last weeks of the year being filled with fond memory-making, many family in-home care providers struggle with feelings of "Bah! Humbug!" from being burdened and isolated from the rest of the celebrating world.
According to Dan Fox, President Right At Home - Palm Springs and Desert Cities for family caregivers the holidays are particularly challenging because they often feel torn between being there fully for their loved one and wanting to be free to enjoy festivities with family and friends . Caregivers can do both and avoid extra stress and negative feelings that tend to surface during the holidays since there are workable solutions fortunately. We see firsthand how important it is for family caregivers not to feel alone or forgotten while the rest of the community celebrates the season when our staff assists a family with adult home care." The following ways are suggested by Fox to family caregivers who can lighten their load from now through New Year's:
Change your expectations. Expectations you do not accomplish during the hustle and bustle of the holidays often trigger more anger and discouragement. Instead of setting the bar high for caregiving and decorating the house, buying gifts, sending cards, baking goodies, etc., lower the demand factor.
Be mindful of feelings. Family caregivers deal with a whole array of emotions such as frustration with lack of assistance to fear over a future which can not be predicted. It is quite depressing that the loved one can no longer reside in their own home alone anymore or attend social events during the holiday season, so caregivers need to set aside time to listen to and work to these particular concerns.
It is alright if something isn't perfect. If the lights on the tree do not drape symmetrically it is okay. So, what if you can't make enough cookies to gift extras this year. Your cards may be sent out later than usual. That is good enough. With all the other obligations, perfect is not possible or a healthy ambition.
There should be no "shoulds" in the holiday celebrations. Do what makes you happy. Don't tell yourself you should do anything that does not bring joy or that is not true to your feelings.
Consider "good enough." If the tree lights appear to be uneven this year, just tell yourself that this is simply not good enough as you deserve a better outcome. If you have restricted time which only allows you to bake one round of cookies, it's good enough. If the only option is to send out your holiday cards after January 1, it's good enough. In relation to family caregivers already stretched to the limit, perfect isn't always considered a smart choice.
Practice letting go of issues and things. Family caregivers can waste emotional energy wishing circumstances were different for their loved one. A key to enjoying the holidays is to cease fighting what is beyond one's control. Determine to end the year letting go of disgruntled attitudes, relationship squabbles and past mistakes that can interfere with the best care for an aging or ill relative.
Make future plans and do not be afraid to seek assistance. Simplify priorities. Consider asking other family members to help with shifts and engage with professional caregivers such as Right at Home to step in with numerous services revolving around respite care, transport, daily meals and housekeeping chores..
Surviving the Christmas rush, the cross-eyed sales clerk interpreted in Norman Rockwell's holiday picture, added a lot of heart. The family member and another person, as the caregiver, was not meant to be run to exhaustion whom are the ones that spent so much for their loved ones.
These done-in citizens are the family members who go to the needs of aging parents or an ill spouse, relative or family friend every day, all yearlong. By the month of December, many home caregivers feel so weary and overwhelmed with daily duties that the thought of idyllic families enjoying the holidays only adds sadness, depression and resentment. Instead of the last weeks of the year being filled with fond memory-making, many family in-home care providers struggle with feelings of "Bah! Humbug!" from being burdened and isolated from the rest of the celebrating world.
According to Dan Fox, President Right At Home - Palm Springs and Desert Cities for family caregivers the holidays are particularly challenging because they often feel torn between being there fully for their loved one and wanting to be free to enjoy festivities with family and friends . Caregivers can do both and avoid extra stress and negative feelings that tend to surface during the holidays since there are workable solutions fortunately. We see firsthand how important it is for family caregivers not to feel alone or forgotten while the rest of the community celebrates the season when our staff assists a family with adult home care." The following ways are suggested by Fox to family caregivers who can lighten their load from now through New Year's:
Change your expectations. Expectations you do not accomplish during the hustle and bustle of the holidays often trigger more anger and discouragement. Instead of setting the bar high for caregiving and decorating the house, buying gifts, sending cards, baking goodies, etc., lower the demand factor.
Be mindful of feelings. Family caregivers deal with a whole array of emotions such as frustration with lack of assistance to fear over a future which can not be predicted. It is quite depressing that the loved one can no longer reside in their own home alone anymore or attend social events during the holiday season, so caregivers need to set aside time to listen to and work to these particular concerns.
It is alright if something isn't perfect. If the lights on the tree do not drape symmetrically it is okay. So, what if you can't make enough cookies to gift extras this year. Your cards may be sent out later than usual. That is good enough. With all the other obligations, perfect is not possible or a healthy ambition.
There should be no "shoulds" in the holiday celebrations. Do what makes you happy. Don't tell yourself you should do anything that does not bring joy or that is not true to your feelings.
Consider "good enough." If the tree lights appear to be uneven this year, just tell yourself that this is simply not good enough as you deserve a better outcome. If you have restricted time which only allows you to bake one round of cookies, it's good enough. If the only option is to send out your holiday cards after January 1, it's good enough. In relation to family caregivers already stretched to the limit, perfect isn't always considered a smart choice.
Practice letting go of issues and things. Family caregivers can waste emotional energy wishing circumstances were different for their loved one. A key to enjoying the holidays is to cease fighting what is beyond one's control. Determine to end the year letting go of disgruntled attitudes, relationship squabbles and past mistakes that can interfere with the best care for an aging or ill relative.
Make future plans and do not be afraid to seek assistance. Simplify priorities. Consider asking other family members to help with shifts and engage with professional caregivers such as Right at Home to step in with numerous services revolving around respite care, transport, daily meals and housekeeping chores..
Surviving the Christmas rush, the cross-eyed sales clerk interpreted in Norman Rockwell's holiday picture, added a lot of heart. The family member and another person, as the caregiver, was not meant to be run to exhaustion whom are the ones that spent so much for their loved ones.
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